My recent review of The Way Home by George Pelecanos has me wondering something about myself. Why did I react so strongly against the sexual content in that book, when I have read other books with descriptive sexual content – such as Diana Gabaldon’s The Outlander series – and have not been nearly as bothered by it?
I’ve been pondering this topic today as I’ve responded to comments to my review of The Way Home and have come to a couple of conclusions.
I’m a hypocrite when it comes to this type of content in books:
~ If I absolutely love a series or a book, like Outlander or the Stephanie Plum mysteries, I’m more likely to overlook this type of stuff.
~ If the sex happens between two people who love each other or are married, it doesn’t bother me, even though I personally believe sex should be reserved for marriage.
~ I particularly dislike sexual content that is casual or between people who have no regard for each other.
~ I absolutely hate sex scenes that use very foul language to describe body parts or actions.
Those last two points are where my dislike for the content in The Way Home comes from. I already knew the antagonist was a particularly evil man – I didn’t need to have his one-night stand with a meth addict/prostitute described for me.
So there you have it! I openly admit my hypocrisy in this area of my reading. Any thoughts?
I”m eons behind in blog reading, but YES.
Your last point just really really hits it. I strongly disliked The Turnaround, which doesn’t necessarily have any explicit sex scenes, but it was the language and manner used to describe body parts, etc. that was offensive to me.
No one else took issue with the book at all, and I’ve read other books that were at least more engaging with similar language content.
Also I think men writers tend to be more crude in this regard.
.-= Amy @ My Friend Amy´s last blog ..Tube Talk: Supernatural 3.9, 3.10 =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Amy – Maybe the male vs. female author is more of an issue than I know – hadn’t thought of it before.
Sexual content can be tricky to write–and read. I don’t think it makes you a hypocrite that you like it in certain contexts and not others; that’s just your personal taste.
.-= heidenkind´s last blog ..Spellbound =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Heidenkind – I guess what I was worried about was sounding preachy or judgmental in my review – I don’t judge other people who maybe loved the book, it was very well-written. Just a turn-off personally.
For me, it just depends on the nature of the sexual content. If it contributes to the storyline or isn’t clearly intended to offend, it won’t bother me. If it’s gratuitous and has no obvious purpose other than to shock the reader, I can do without. The True Story of Hansel and Gretel would be an example of grossly unnecessary sexual content, since the rape of a child is described in detail. In other books, the sexual material basically flows seamlessly into the plot and doesn’t jump out (to me, at least) as inappropriate.
.-= Bonnie´s last blog ..Chronicles of Narnia Challenge =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Bonnie – yes, I agree – if it’s intrinsic to the character and his/her motivation or character development, I have no problem with it. If, however, the character can be fully drawn without an extremely crude sex scene, I’d prefer that.
I don’t see it as hypocritical. You have clear set guidelines and turn-offs, so it makes sense.
.-= Andrea_R´s last blog ..Well that was fun =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Andrea – I guess I’ve just never sat down and thought about it and why it bothers me in some instances and not in others. I’ve loaned books to my mom and had her say, “Didn’t that bother you?” and it hadn’t, but it did bother her – different guidelines for different people, I guess.
I don’t know… I guess if the scene is instrumental to the story, then it doesn’t bother me. If it adds an understanding as to why the characters do what they do or feel what they feel, then I’m okay with it. I just read a GREAT book called This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. There is a sex scene in the beginning that is graphic. But, what the character witnesses has a lot to do with how he acts throughout the rest of the book. So, it was a pertinent scene, albeit explicit. I still thought this was a fabulous book and there were other sexual descriptions in it.
The way that I look at sex now and the way that I used to view it are two different things. It is more important to me now to have feelings/love in place to even consider going there. Now, I want to wait for a relationship that means something to me. But, in my youth, I had a different outlook on it. But, how I behave or what I want doesn’t really impact my reading of a story about others. It’s stange. I can easily separate the two. Sex is like brushing teeth or going potty. People do it. It’s a part of life. And, if it’s a part of the story… so be it.
I know this is a long comment, but I really liked that your post made me think about it… about how I feel about it!
Great post.
Sheri
.-= Sheri´s last blog ..The Bachelorette: Men Tell All July 20, 2009 =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Sheri – I agree, if it’s pertinent to the story or the character, then it’s necessary. I guess because the scenes in The Way Home were not with a main character, but with the villain – and I already understood how evil he was – it felt gratuitous.
I agree with Andrea.
.-= Kev´s last blog ..Book Review: The Acronym – White Nights of St. Petersburgh =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Kev – thanks.
I don’t think of you as a hypocrite. What you are is specific about what you like and don’t like. Nothing wrong with that. I don’t see any inconsistency in what you’re saying. Some sex scenes are tastefully done and some are crude. There is a distinction. I read the George Pelecanos book and thoroughly enjoyed the story. I just skipped over the sex scenes. Since it wasn’t a romance or about a relationship, it didn’t seem to fit the story. I read your review and took it as what a review is – your opinion after reading the book. Stay with the way you do things. That’s why we/I read your blog.
.-= Margot´s last blog ..It’s Teaser Tuesday: American Lion =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Margot – I bet if I had read it, instead of listening to it, it might not have bothered me as much because I would have skimmed those parts. Hard to do on audio, though – never know how far to fast-forward.
Twitter: bookingit
says:
It makes perfect sense to me. I’m on the same continuum as you, although my line falls slightly differently to you.
I (ahem) enjoy a well written sex scene. I strongly prefer my characters to be committed or involved, but there are times that a one-night stand doesn’t bother me– when it is in character, is relevant to the plot AND is respectfully written.
Foul language is a (ahem) turnoff for me no matter what the context. I want the language to be respectful of the characters, the activity and of me, the reader.
And yes, I notice a definite difference between male and female writers in this regard
.
.-= Laura @ I’m Booking It´s last blog ..Review & Giveaway: Julie & Julia by Julie Powell =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Laura – I understand completely (and I won’t say anything).
Twitter: youvegottaread
says:
I’ve never really sat down and considered this myself. I am certainly not a prude…I can handle sex and language with the best of them. I don’t like it, however, when it seems like it has been forced into a plot in a gratuitous way. With that said, I suppose it would seem more gratuitous if it were a casual random act versus that great stuff we get between Claire and Jamie! I haven’t read your Pelecanos review yet (I’ve been without Internet for the entire day…yikes) so I will be interested in seeing it. I like that author, and am a little surprised he went this direction!
.-= Sandy´s last blog ..The Problem With Murmur Lee – Connie May Fowler (Kindle) =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Sandy – yes, the sex between Claire and Jamie has never bothered me because they love each other and treat each other with respect – and Ms. Gabaldon treats her characters and readers with respect. It never seems prurient or designed to get a reaction – simply part of the characters’ lives.
Golly! (Yes, I actually use that word in conversation.) I don’t know what to say. I used to skip over sex scenes in books and only in recent years have begun to actually read them. Let’s see . . . I suppose the most obvious is that I roll my eyes when sex scenes read like instructional manuals or when the characters use silly nicknames or those old romance novel code words for a person’s private parts. I don’t really care for gratuitous sex in books either. And I really don’t like long drawn out sex scenes.
I can’t say the relationship of the couple having sex in a book is an issue for me. I don’t especially care for adulterous affairs, but that doesn’t really have to do with the sex scenes themselves, but it may affect my opinions of the characters. Same goes for one night stands and such.
Foul or crude language doesn’t bother me if it fits the characters and the scene and isn’t overwhelming.
My absolute favorite sex scenes are the ones that occur more behind the scenes and aren’t described in detail–but rather are alluded to.
Being that I tend not to read a lot of romance novels, sex scenes are not a regular staple in my reading material. It’s not something that comes up all that much–and if it does, it’s usually fitting to the book and characters–not something I make note of–or even remember down the road.
I agree with the others, Carrie. You aren’t a hypocrite at all. You know what works for you and what doesn’t, and that’s really all that matters when it gets right down to it.
.-= Literary Feline´s last blog ..Monday At the Movies: No, I Didn’t Walk Out of Harry Potter =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
LF – I agree about the romance novel euphemisms – no heaving bosoms or throbbing manhoods for me!
Thanks for the input. I don’t read a lot of romance either, but I do read women’s lit and historical fiction, and both genres have a tendency to have sexual content. I can’t remember the last time I was bothered by a sex scene written by a female author, though – I think those who pointed out the gender issue have a good point.
Wow! You did do some self analysis. I agree that is the cold, casual sex that is most unappealing. But sometimes it is used to show a trait in a character. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Stacy – yep!
I don’t normally have a problem with sex in books, but it has to be relevant to the plot and not just thrown in to cause contraversy.
The Booker winner ‘G’ by Berger is an example of graphic sex in a book, purely to attract attention and shock. I didn’t like it at all.
I agree – I like to see the charcters loving each other and the use of gentle language. I didn’t mind the sex in Outlander either.
.-= Jackie (Farm Lane Books)´s last blog ..The House at Riverton – Kate Morton =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Jackie – yes, that’s pretty much how I feel. I’ll avoid “G” then.
I skip over all sex scenes. I think that is a result of an overdose of them when I spent a couple of years reading and reviewing romance novels. I got bored.
Lezlie
.-= Lezlie´s last blog ..To Go Or Not To Go, That Is The Question =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Lezlie – I read a lot of romance in high school, and yes, they got boring and repetitive!
Twitter: SavvyVerseWit
says:
I agree, I think its the context in which the scenes are written that determines whether you like it. I think I’m more tolerant than most, probably because I take into account the character and what their actions or reactions might be…particularly if the scene is in their POV. If they are a crass character, then their words and sex scenes are going to be crass…etc.
.-= Serena (Savvy Verse & Wit)´s last blog ..Interview With Poet Rosemary Winslow =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Serena – yes, I understand that, too. And I really think it wouldn’t have bothered me as much in the print edition, because I could have skipped parts. For some reason, hearing certain words aloud bothers me more than seeing them in print.
I don’t have a problem with sex scenes in books but I feel like they have to be there for a real reason not just because the author wants to shock the reader or feels like it has to be thrown in there.
And, I definitely don’t think you are being hypocritical. I think you just know what stories work for you and which ones don’t. I did enjoy your review of the Pelecanos book. I may give it a go one day but for now it sounds a bit darker than what I’m in the mood for.
.-= iliana´s last blog ..Currently Reading =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Iliana – It was dark in places, but it ended on a hopeful note. I still liked the book – 3 stars isn’t a horrible rating, i don’t think.
I guess I just needed to work it out in my thoughts on why it bothered me in some places, but not in others.
I agree with your last two points…I do not care for that either.
When I first read Outlander, I was bit shocked but truth be told…I liked it as it seemed to fit the story well. As I continue reading the Outlander series, I think the author does a fabulous job with sex in the story… this area has matured right along with characters and beyond that it is a integral part of marriage – of their marriage.
For me, formulated romance novels become incredibly boring as it seems that sex is the center of the story…boring. I much perfer to see it written as part of the characters relationship that has blossomed and grown…that they love and are committed to one another. The stories with quick relationship growth that reaches sex are boring (for me).
For the most part, sex does not bother me in any book…it is a matter of whether the story holds my interest or not.
BTW: for what it is worth, I do not think you are hypocrite. I think your post is timely for me as I was just pondering if reading books with sex is a good thing or not. I have concluded that it is not bad as long as the story is a good. Although, teenage reads (YA) is another area for me where sex is brought into the story…maybe not graphically or acted upon but is there….wondering about this? Appropriate or not? Hmm…I am thinking…I am not sure.
.-= Deanna´s last blog ..Fishing: A Passion =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Deanna – I agree about the Outlander series – I love the fact that the books don’t end once they’re married, which so often happens with romances. It continues on to show how their marriage grows and blossoms. Good stuff!
Pingback: Mommy Brain » Links for Friday, July 24, 2009
Twitter: Wordlily
says:
I mostly agree with you. I haven’t listened to many audiobooks at all, but I can see how that would make a difference, too.
.-= Word Lily´s last blog ..Booking: Preferences =-.
Twitter: booksandmovies
says:
Lily – it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes to me!